To someone fictional, yet so real

I’ll be a story in your head. But that’s ok, we’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? Because it was, you know, it was the best…A daft old man who stole a magic box and ran away.

When I was 15, I accidentally came across a very strange tv show, that russian cable was showing. I remember certain moments, a strange story line that made absolutely no sense, with not a single familiar face as I had no idea who the actors were. Yet, somehow, I watched it. There was a blue police box and a man in a leather jacket who claimed he was an alien, a girl that ran away with him to have adventures in the outer space. It was really strange, you could say. And then, with very little internet available at that time, and having barely no info about the screening times, I never came across  it again. I forgot about it. 

I joined tumblr 4 years ago. Being immediately sucked into multiple major fandoms, I kept seeing the posts, gifs and screen caps from a visually stunning tv series, that immediately caught my eye. However, for some reasons, I kept putting off watching it.

I knew soon I was gonna end up watching it. And I did.

I remember turning on the first episode of the series and for a split second my heart stopped. It was that tv show. That very same episode I watched by accident almost 7 years ago. It was Doctor Who.

It kicked me into my childhood, restored all the feelings I had while watching it for the first time, having no idea what was going on, but still somehow knowing that it will grow into something more than just a random tv show I stumbled upon 7 years ago. Honestly, it felt like home. 

From the very first moment, I knew I was sold. Being someone who was already so emotionally invested in fictional characters, I knew there was no going back for me. In 2 short weeks I sprinted through 5 seasons, watching all of Chris's and all of David's episodes. I thought that the worst thing that could ever happen was David and Billie leaving the show, which left me absolutely drained and empty, as saying goodbye to one of my favorite fictional characters that literally kept me going through some hard times I was having back then was like losing a family member. Ten was My Doctor, I was so in love with him. I couldn't bring myself to continue the series, thinking I could never even give a chance to the new one that was coming to replace him. 

I was so wrong. 

I found My Doctor all over again. So childish, and yet so dark, with an infinite sadness in
his eyes. A Mad Man in a Box. From the moment The Tardis crashed into Amelia Pond's backyard, from the first time he put on a bow tie, declaring it was cool, the first time he put a fez on his head, the first time he smiled, the first time he laughed and the first time he cried at a loss of a dear friend. From all those first times, all the way to Trenzalore. 
And this is how this chapter ends. You straighten your bow tie one last time. 

And I feel like Amy Pond, who waited for you so long and patient, who believed in her imaginary friend, and now has to say her last goodbyes. You were My Doctor. And always will be. Throughout these 3 years, you took me on incredible adventures, even if I was sitting in my room in front of my computer screen. You were always there, just a mouse click away from me, ready to take away all the sadness of reality. And I will remember you and always think of you fondly.  
I still can't bring myself to say goodbye to you, while your face starts glowing gold. How can I say goodbye to someone who inspired me so much and made me happy. To someone fictional, yet so real. To someone I deeply love. 

Thank you, Raggedy Man. 

Thank you for reminding me to be magnificent, for teaching me to see beauty in everything in the universe, to appreciate little things. Thank you for being a good friend, for being there, when barely anyone was, for making me laugh and cry, for making me feel things I never knew I'm able to feel. I'm choking on words with the feeling that I haven't said enough. 

      Thank you, Eleventh, we're all, indeed, stories in the end.

      And thank you, Matt Smith. 

      

P.S. Bow ties were never cooler.